I Wednesday Wonder

Our autism journey

Owen got into my bed around one. Got out of my bed around two, only to get right back in, and then out again. Laughing the whole time. I said, “it’s”, and before I could say anything else, Owen said, “it’s nighttime”, getting back into the bed. He needed me to hold him. He needed compressions. All I kept thinking about is the socks I haven’t gotten him yet. He needs compression socks, but what kind, what size. Add it to the list of things I think about. We got out of bed at four, with a milk request, and lights needing to be on immediately. Owen ran from me when we came home yesterday. I knew he was running to the neighbor’s porch, but what if he wasn’t. How can I keep him safe, I think. I have to smile right now, tears are welling in my eyes, but Owen keeps looking at me. We are both sleepy enough it would cause a meltdown, I think for both of us. He’s happy, I want to keep it that way. I hear my words coming out of his mouth, “I’m not going to tell you again”. First of all why is that a phrase I have even uttered. I tell him again, and again. I say it to him when he is doing things like practicing ballet moves like I’ve never seen before on the couch arm, or when he is jumping from the edge of his bed that is three feet off the ground. But seriously that phrase, I will tell him again, and again. He picks up the phrases that remind me I’m not always as quick witted as I think I am. It also reminds me I’m human, and taking this one tired step at a time. The battle of the wits are taking place this morning, and I’m learning. Owen repeats the same word over, and over again. He said, “cracker”, his word for veggie chips, as soon as he started saying it I said, “I love you” every single time. About the twentieth time he started smiling, and said, “I wuv ewe”, reaching for my hand to make the sign. We kept going. He wanted his kiss on his forehead, and his hugs. He walked away saying, “cracker”, and I chimed in with “I love you”. He looked over his shoulder at me, and kept walking. That song, and dance wasn’t over, but I’m trying this strategy on for size, and we shall see how it goes. I don’t have the answers, but I have tons of questions. The number one question for today is how to get my baby to sleep through the night. Cherish the small steps, be excited about the big events, and find ways to make yourself happy. Smiles to all and donut daze!

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