Never take things for granted.

We take things for granted believing because we think we’ll see that person the next time or things will always be the same.

We never think about the “what ifs”.

We never consider that we’ll be without that person.

This weekend my brother passed away.

He was 45, beat cancer twice, and he was my hero.

But it was an aneurism that took him.

I had opportunities to do things with him over the past year and passed on them because I thought he’d always be there.

I never imagined he’d be gone.

He was a light in the lives of those who knew him and when I was young teenager, he talked to me about girls, about life and there were many times I learned from him.

Today, I look back on the past twenty plus years when I’d see him when he’d make time from his life to spend it with me.

I never thought about making time from my life to spend it with him, that’s just the way he was.

Now, that I’m trying to get a book published next year, and considering how to manage that I think about him and what he would have done in my position.

He would’ve done it anyway. He never let anything really affect him.

Our dad is the same way. It takes a lot to get them angry, but when they are, watch out.

Chris always amazed me with his love of everything. The way he could talk to a person and know them in five minutes, the way he cared so much about everyone.

I’ve never been like that.

I worried about myself too much. Worried about what people thought. He seemed to be able to go through everything he’d been through and still put a smile on his face and those around him.

For a long time all I cared about was me and it pushed people out of my life and nearly cost me my marriage.

Today, I look back on things I could have done or should have done and I think about Chris.

He wouldn’t think about it. He never said anything to me about it.

I loved my brother and although he wasn’t blood, it never mattered to either of us.

He was always my brother from the time I met him at age 13 until the day I’m no longer here, which I plan on being a long time from now, but today, I just miss him.

I’m not mad. I just wish I would’ve spent more time with him.

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