Sitting Tight

I took one of those talent assessments a few years ago and it indicated I have a strong bias for action. In other words, sitting still does not become me. Right now, I am on day three of hunkering down at home in the name of safety as Florence batters the Carolinas. And while I am grateful to still have power (which powers my WiFi and Nespresso machine) and access to a gym in my building, I admit to going a little stir-crazy. Yesterday it dawned on me this is the first big weather event I am riding out alone in 10 years. As in, without a husband/boyfriend/significant other. For some, this may not be a big deal. But for me it is yet another step in embracing the change in my life. I am proud of myself for not devolving into a puddle of tears and self-pity. Instead, I’m using this time to enjoy my own company.

Working on my agenda. Part of the work I am doing with my life coach is figuring out what comes next for me professionally. This past week I had a couple of eye-opening experiences that challenged some long-held beliefs. The biggest one is that work must be a struggle to be worth the paycheck. It’s clear to me this belief was formed by watching the people in my life complain about the jobs they do and how they do not enjoy 8–10 hours of their day. They did it because they either had no choice or because they did not know what else to do. I have a choice — indeed I have so many options it’s sometimes overwhelming. Normally this abundance of options would paralyze me for fear of making a mistake. Instead, I’ve used the last few days to reflect on what fills my tank, where I can add the most value, and how I want to spend my finite time. It’s provided me the space to organize my thoughts and take steps in the right direction.

Take a trip down memory lane. What’s a couple of rainy days without a good TV binge? My choice — Sex and the City. I started watching it a few weeks ago with my roommate and realized how many memories are wrapped up in the show. I was in my mid-20s when SATC first aired. My girlfriends and I would have viewing parties, spend hours deciphering the plot twists, and discuss our own relationship issues. Over the last few days I’ve watched countless episodes and reflected on my own single days. After all these years, I still identify most with Miranda — the fiery, independent red-head who fell in love with the sweet, well-meaning bartender. There are some definite parallels there. Like so many things in my life, this post-divorce life is uncharted territory for me. I find myself searching for role models and have yet to find one I identify with. Maybe that’s because I have to find my own way on my own terms. Still chewing on that one…

Embracing my inner sloth. I’m proud to say I’ve been equally active and sedentary. Sitting still does not come natural to me. This often means I don’t sleep more than 5–6 hours/night and I cram a lot into a single day. Over the last few days, I’ve slept 8–9 hours/night and even taken the occasional nap. My first thought was People do this on a regular basis? How? Yet it’s refreshing to slow down and let my mind and body rest. I tell myself I should do this more often — make time to relax instead of filling my calendar with activities. Spend more time with myself, my thoughts, my space. To see what bubbles up. If the past few days have been any indication, it’s good for the soul — even if it does leave an imprint on the couch.

Related posts:

There were protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, in August 2020 after a white police officer shot a Black man. Kyle Rittenhouse was seventeen years old when he traveled twenty miles from his home in…

Bienvenidos a un nuevo articulo, hoy les presentaré como tengo la pantalla inicial de mi iPhone. Siempre he sido partidario de que la pantalla de inicio es la más importante, ahí es donde debes tener…

Wedding bells have been in my ears for the last two weeks and now that the parties are finished it has been time for reflection, gratitude, and soaking up all the feelings of love from family and…